Thursday, October 28, 2010
Day #64 & #65: Pieces of me
What an incredibly long, busy and draining week. Not necessarily draining in a bad way, but nonetheless, an exercise in mental fitness. I keep thinking about the journey these last few months have been for me and the transformations I seem to make on a daily basis. I'd like to think of the "old" Michelle and the "new and improved" Michelle. What do I mean by this? Well, take this week for instance. Work was insanely busy, patients were very sick or dying, and there just hasn't seemed to be enough hours in the day to get things done. Now, the "old" Michelle would likely have pouted, threw a million and one excuses on the week, retreated to my cave, and sulked for the rest of the weekend. The "new" Michelle has learned that, yeah, things may get tough, and it's OK to feel overwhelmed and discouraged, but at the end of the day, a serene sense of being and a positive outlook makes even the worst day seem like a blessing.
I will not lie, I am really happy with the person I am becoming. I think everyone should fall in love with themselves. It's not about being conceited or self-absorbed, it's about just taking care of yourself and acknowledging all of the good and the beauty you bring to this world. I love that I can be quirky and intense, yet quiet and reflective. I like challenging myself with new words or new languages. I embrace my nerdiness! I also enjoy being kind to someone who may not expect it. I like to talk to people, and learn about them. And, I'm becoming a much better listener, because it's amazing what you learn when you stop and actually hear what someone is saying.
Abraham Lincoln wrote, "I do the best I know how, the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing it to the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me will not amount to anything. If the end brings me out all wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference." There is something invaluable about being your best self and doing the best that you can, even if the final output is not exactly what you had hoped for. It truly is more about the effort, more about loving yourself and giving your all.
So, according to a personality test from the Human Project, I am the following:
Openness to Experience 96%
"You do not usually get angry too easily but some things can annoy you, however you often resist any cravings or urges that you have, but sometimes you give in. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. Familiar routines are good, but sometimes you like to spice up your life with a bit of adventure or activity. You are tenderhearted and compassionate, feeling the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity, however there are times when you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary, however you are mostly candid, frank and sincere. People find it moderately easy to relate to you. You are well-organized and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans."
Don't you just love the Internet :-) Whatever you are, or whatever the pieces that you are made of, you are you, and you deserve to love you. Yes, I may be neurotic, introverted, but I'm also open minded and kind hearted. I like that. So, I want everyone to do something, anything, that allows you to embrace yourself and all of your gifts. Euripides wrote, "There is just one life for each of us: our own." A lifetime is a long time to not like yourself. Give yourself a big hug and each and everyone morning say to yourself, "self, wow, I really do like you."
"At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time."