Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Day #48 & #49: I am my best friend, NOT my worst enemy

Robert Thorpe wrote, "we have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies." I have come to the conclusion that for many of us we are our own worst enemies. I keep wondering why this is. Has our self-esteem just not yet matured, or were we not loved enough as a child? There are probably more reasons than I could possibly count. Whatever the reason, it needs to stop. Helen Keller wrote that "Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world."

I was, without a doubt, my own worst enemy. I could do nothing right. My existence was futile, at least in my mind, and my contribution to this world was minimal if nothing. It now amazes me that when I looked back at my accomplishments, the "enemy" part of me always found a negative counteraction. I ran the marathon...."yeah, but I should have run it faster." I got a master's degree...."yeah, but really, I should get a PhD." I go above and beyond sometimes at work...."yeah, but really I should be doing more." Why did I do this?! Why do we do this?! When will we realize that all of the amazing things we do are worthy of praise.

It's time to the stop the madness. Each one of us should stand in front of a mirror, and take a good hard look at what it standing in front of us. This is not some meek, worthless, unaccomplished image. No, it's a phenomenal human being that has far exceeded expectation, and who has even more to contribute. I love Mae West, and leave it to her to say the following, "I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself." I don't care what anyone thinks, but this broad got it right. We should be crazy about ourselves. We should celebrate who we are, and above all, we really need to stop minimizing or dismissing all of our achievements. From this day forward, my goal will to always be my own best friend.

It's inevitable, and it's human, all of us make a mistake or screw up. However, dwelling on what went wrong or rehashing the mess that was made is pointless, and just bad for the psyche. Thoreau wrote, "what a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate." Give yourself a big hug everyday, love yourself above all. There comes a point in life when the wounds of the past must be mended, and we must finally accept that we are, and always will be, or own best friends. And, I don't know about you, but I dare anyone to talk shit about my best friend.

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