Friday, October 8, 2010

Day #44 & #45: Let's play the dating game.

Dating is a tricky sport. Some of us are Olympic champions, while others of us are the Jamaican bobsled team of dating. We try and we have the heart, but we're just not very good at it. I think after years of dating, it is very easy to become cynical and jaded. However, I think most women, including myself, have not been playing the game correctly. Many of us have turned it into the quest of finding "the one," instead of just enjoying the game.

Whenever I think of the woman desperately in search of her knight in shining armor, I think of Charlotte from "Sex and the City." I will never forget Charlotte declaring, "I've been dating since I was 15. Where is he!" She is what I'd like to call the quintessential "hunter." She is always in search of her knight, imagining the china pattern they would pick out, the wedding dress of her dreams, his last name next to her first name, and how many children she and her "prey" will pop out. And, of course, Charlotte imagines this all on the first date! She's got all of it planned out even before they are done with appetizers. Tricky, very tricky....

OK, so here is my confession, I used to be that girl. Dating to me was not about having fun and getting to know someone. No my friends, it was all about finding "the husband." This is what makes a bad dater. Now, of course, this isn't to say that we don't get to a point in life where we are ready to settle down with the right person. The problem is when that one notion consumes you so deeply that you forget to just go out, be yourself, and have fun. It's all about an agenda and a deadline. This is what gets us in trouble.

So, from this day forward, I am putting my ammunition away and bringing in the search party. My goal is to date with no expectations. Rather, I will enjoy the ride. As my dear friend Amy says, "Your cake is already fabulous! He's just the icing!" So, if I find my sweet butter cream icing, well, that would be just wonderful. If not, I know my cake is wonderful enough to stand on its own :)

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