Monday, September 20, 2010
Day #27: The rebuttle.
A couple of days ago, I posted a message on Facebook asking for suggestions for my blog. What was so wonderful was that not only did I get a response, but I got the male counter-argument to my female argument. I've been wondering for some time about what my male counterpart would have to say. Am I completely off mark? Is there something we have to learn from each other? Maybe, we need to open our eyes and ears and start listening to each other.
As it was explained to me, a boy goes through a journey in life to ultimately become a man. There are many trials and tribulations. Games are played, lessons are learned, and eventually that man learns that stories of drunken nights and loose women pail in comparison to sharing real intimacy with another human being. Eventually, that man reaches a point when all of the boyhood folly just isn't fun any longer, and he comes to realize that it's time to shed that armor and be vulnerable.
Why don't we listen to each other? Why is it more of a he said she said, rather than slowing down and hearing each others' point of view. We are taught in school to be objective and to listen to both sides of the story. Yet, when it comes to relationships, we become narrow minded. It's all about what "I" think, what "I" need...as far as I know, "I" does not equal a relationship. This isn't to say that we should lose who we are and adapt the "my other half attitude." If you have read my blog, you absolutely know my take on that. Rather, it's more about just being understanding and working together.
It all boils down to this...communication is key. Men need to learn to open up and share their feelings, while women need to learn to listen and accept what is being said. Women do not want another father, and men do not want another mother. We have both of each already. What we want is a partner. Leo F. Buscaglia wrote "A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself - to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart."