Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Day #21 & #22: 1/2 a person + 1/2 a person=a whole? Really?!

I was driving home after a dinner out with a fantastic group of nurse practitioners, when I started listening to one of those "love/dedication" programs on some light radio station. I was listening to a caller, a woman with three young children, divorced for over a year, who called in to proclaim after bitterness and heartache, that she had found her "other half" and that her life was complete. Of course, I first sat in my seat stunned, and then like a knee-jerk reaction, shouted out loud, "No, No, No!!! You are not half a person looking for your other half! You are already a whole person!"

After my blood pressure and pulse returned to normal, I began to think more about this idea of "the other half," "your better half," or "a soulmate." How many of us have been told or have read the elegantly constructed love story about a man and a woman who after years of longing, found each other haphazardly, finally to discover that they had found the one that completes them. Apparently, for $223, you can purchase The Soulmate Kit (I kid you not,, and will receive "everything you need to find, attract, and manifest the love of your life." If it's really that easy, then sign me up!

To me the real danger is in believing that life will only be complete until you find that ONE person. In the mean time, you go through life in a constant state of disappointment, always waiting for something or someone to finish the puzzle. Now, please do not misconstrue what I'm saying as bleak or pessimistic. Believe me, I so want to find a man to share my life with, and have a spiritual bond. However, I do not believe that I am a "half" wondering this Earth hopelessly until I meet the piece that fits and suddenly awakens me. I am whole and complete just as I am, and that's what makes me a beautiful and unique individual.

Ade Almeida, a relationship author, wrote that if you are not "whole" by yourself, then you will not have much to offer someone when it comes time to be in a relationship. You must do whatever it takes to develop and nurture our entire self, discover your spiritual prowess, your essence in life, before you devote yourself to another human being. Self devotion is number one above all. Jo Courdert wrote, "You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose."

So, no, I am not a half, I'm a whole, and I am looking for another whole to share my life with. I am looking for a whole to love me, respect me, and share his life with me. In return, I want to love him, respect him, and share my life with him. I do not need to be completed, because I've already found what completes me, and it's encompassed in this one little body. I need someone to complement me, and be my partner in this fascinating journey called life.

“I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself” -Mae West

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