I was out to dinner tonight with two dear friends of mine, and the conversation turned to the subject of negativity and happiness. In particular, we began discussing how it is that some people seem to go through life with such negativity, always complaining about something, and having the "woe is me" attitude. We all have that friend on Facebook that seems to have nothing good to post, and we eventually decide to hide them because the string of negative thoughts is just too damn depressing. Are we all coded differently; some of us with the happy gene and others of us with the not-so-happy gene? I'm not entirely convinced. We all came to the conclusion this evening that happiness really is a choice.
A pessimistic attitude has more of an impact then we may think. Negative thinking has a profound physical impact on our bodies. It can cause chemical changes within the body that can decrease the flow of endorphins, cause poor judgment and racing thoughts, and diminishes our bodies natural immune defenses, making us more prone to illness. Negativity also causes stress, anxiety, and depression, which can lead to hypertension, cardiovascular disease, ulcers, and respiratory problems. On the other side of spectrum is the wondrous impact of positive thinking. The Mayo Clinic published an article on the health benefits of positive thinking. They found that positive thinking can increase lifespan, lower rates of depression, provide greater resistance against colds, and reduces the risk of death from cardiovascular disease.
Wow...if that's not convincing enough to change your attitude, I'm not sure what is. The point is that we can make a conscious decision to lead a happy life. This means not allowing each and every slip and disappointment or hurt in life to bring us down. We must face it, life is full of tragedy and heartache, but it is how we choose to handle these situations that speaks volume about our desire for happiness.
I can speak from personal experience and my own tragedies. Losing your father at 19 is not exactly easy, and it has a tremendously profound effect on the rest of your life. You can choose to grieve and see the world as this hostile place, where nothing will go right. Or, you can accept what life has handed you, turn that tragedy into something good, and find joy in all of life's gifts, rather then dwell on each tragedy. This isn't to say that I don't miss my father. On the contrary, I miss him everyday, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish for one more moment with him. However, I know that he is always with me, and I remind myself of how lucky I was to have 19 wonderful years with him. I choose not to dwell on the grief, but rather, honor my father in the best possible way, by leading a happy and joyous life. Life can be taken away from us in the blink of the eye, and I don't know about you, but I want to enjoy and savor each and every moment of this wondrous existence while I am still able to do so.
So, I implore each and everyone of you to find happiness in all things, and discover the good in something that seems horribly bad. Buddhism teaches that through awareness of our mental activities, we can rid ourselves of every harmful thought and bring forth every possible positive thought. My favorite interpretation of happiness comes from Groucho Marx, who said "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." Each day is a new start, and with it brings endless possibilities. Never forget that, and never forget that you have the power and the ability to be as happy as you choose to be.
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