Sunday, September 12, 2010

Day #19: I have confidence in phenomenal me.

"I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me

Strength doesn't lie in numbers
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers
When you wake up -- Wake Up!

It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to
All I trust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!"

"I have confidence" from the Sound of Music

I love this song, and I love it even more since I've turned 30. Not only does it provoke wonderful childhood memories of watching this movie with the family over and over again, but it jars something within me that makes me realize I am a confident 30 year old woman, and my plan is to stay that way. Hervey Allen wrote about turning thirty: "The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits."

Turning 30 looks good on me, and frankly, it looks good on most 30 somethings. I think the most wonderful thing about turning 30 is finding the inner confidence and sense of self we so desperately tried to find in our teens and twenties. I'm starting to realize that those that balk at turning 30, and those that are still flitting about in the youthful daze of the twenties, have no idea how wonderful 30 really is. It's like opening the door to a fantastical new world, where all is right, and nothing is impossible. It's about standing on two strong legs with a head held high. It is one of the most significant chapters in one's life story.

In some proverbial and mystical way, I have always had this sense that my life would reach fruition at a much later time than most. I think in my twenties I was still too stalled by the loss of my father, drowning in a pool of self-doubt and grief, to know who I was and what I wanted. Sure, I made it through the normal flow of daily life without much difficult, but as for my spirit and sense of self, that had yet to be developed. Now, at 30, I am finally aware of who I am and what I want in life. The most remarkable thing is that I've come to realize that I really am my father's child, and that like my father, we have done things on our own time, to the beat of our own drum.

So, here I am, 30 and ready to take on the world. I feel more beautiful and alive at 30 than I ever did at 20 or 25 or 28 for that matter. To me, the world is full of endless possibilities, and the confidence that I have finally cultivated will allow me to weave my path with strength and purpose and to achieve my dreams in all of their splendor. Eleanor Roosevelt wrote that, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." With believing comes confidence, and with confidence comes action and delivery. I'd like to leave you with a poem by Maya Angelou that speaks volumes. Be phenomenal, whether you are a woman or a man. Be confident and dream big, and realize that 30 is truly wondrous.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips,
The stride of my step, The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered What they see in me.
They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery.
When I try to show them They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's the arch of my back, The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand, The need of my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

By Soror Maya Angelou

1 comment:

  1. SO funny! The Sound of Music was on the other night and my sister and I were texting back and forth while watching it. I was saying how you can learn a lot about relationships, and what NOT to do, from the way the two female leads act toward Capt. Von Trapp. The Baroness, although beautiful and rich, is so obviously insecure and trying too hard. She fishes for compliments, pretends to love the countryside and kids, is jealous of Maria and plots to keep her away from the Capt. On the other hand, Maria, although clearly more naive, and not nearly as flashy as the Baroness, is 100% herself. She doesn't try to impress the Capt., she simply does what she feels in her heart she should do. She is honest and authentic and unafraid to challenge him (something which powerful men find to be really sexy, since few people, esp. women, usually dare to take them on). Thus he falls head over heels for Maria, despite, or maybe because, of her "flaws." & also because she's an excellent yodeler! :)