Saturday, September 11, 2010

Day #17 & #18: Put it out there, ladies!

So this evening, I went out on a date with a very wonderful!! Sitting home on a Saturday night, I finally came to the conclusion that why in the world should I sit at home just because I'm single. Yes, yes, in the words of Charlotte from Sex and the City, Saturday is date night, but does that mean that all those wonderful single ladies out there should be deprived of quality time just because we don't have a date for the evening? I think not! I picked myself up, put on my lip gloss, mascara, and my glasses, and took myself to a movie. And...I sat in the movie with a huge popcorn and coke and enjoyed every second of it. It's one of the best times I've had in a long time. No distractions, no trying to make myself look attractive or act a certain way to win over a, it was all about me.

There seems to be this sense of security when we are out with someone else. Yet, when we are alone, somehow we can become so incredibly fragile and insecure. It's not to say that I've never felt this way. In fact, I was probably the poster child for, "Oh no, can't go out by myself...what will people think!" Why is it that we feel so helpless and even embarrassed to go out by ourselves on a Friday or Saturday night. Who cares what anybody thinks! The only person that matters, is you!

Here's the other argument. If you don't put yourself out there (i.e. go to the movies, a bar, a restaurant) alone, how in the world is it possible to meet someone. I'm sorry to break it to some people, but prince charming is not going to miraculously appear on the doorstep, while the damsel in distress sits at home waiting for her prince to come. Seriously, get real! We have to put ourselves out there, and if that means by ourselves, slightly vulnerable, than so be it. There is something so incredibly powerful about a woman who can pick herself up, take herself out, and say screw everyone else, this is for me!

The other beautiful thing about doing what you love, and enjoying time to yourself, is that there develops this indelible confidence that transcends, and actually makes you a more attractive partner. No partner wants to feel as if the other person's happiness depends entirely on them. We need to be able to find joy and happiness in ourselves, even if that means spending a Saturday night out alone. This allows us to be able to give more of ourselves to another human being, because we have a firm sense of self.

So, to everyone out there, I challenge you to take yourself out on date night at least once in your lifetime. See how it makes you feel, and enjoy the time with the wonderful human being that is you. Learn about yourself, discover your likes and dislikes, and heck, strike up a conversation with a total stranger if you can. You never know, that solo outing may just lead you to your beloved. Most importantly, it will teach you how strong and able you are, with or without someone beside you.

“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” - Lao Tzu

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