Thursday, August 26, 2010
Day #2: let's not play the blame game any longer
So, I've been thinking quite a bit about why women choose to blame themselves for every little mishap in a relationship. Things get a little rocky, and he starts acting weird and dismissive, and we think..."oh, my God, what did I do?!" I'm not exempt from this ridiculous thought myself. I don't know how many times I have agonized over relationships and wondered what I did wrong, what I could do better, if only I had done this...Ugh, it's tiring. Well, you know what I have realized....we are doing nothing wrong!!!! God forbid we act like ourselves, care for someone, be vulnerable!! I'm so tired of magazine article after magazine article declaring, "we must play hard to get" or "10 simple steps to landing your soul mate!" Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with being our genuine selves?
This is something that I have been working very hard on these past couple of months. After years of doing what I was told, and behaving as everyone thinks I should act, I've finally taken control and declared, "STOP already!! I must simply be me!!" I know that I cannot please everyone, nor will everyone like me. Frankly, the only person I worry about liking me, is, well, me. It seems to me that liking yourself, no, loving yourself, is the key to living the most genuine life you can lead.
Dictionary.com defines genuine as the following: adjective
1. possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real: genuine sympathy; a genuine antique.
2. properly so called: a genuine case of smallpox.
3. free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere: a genuine person.
4. descended from the original stock; pure in breed: a genuine Celtic people.
Wow! That is a pretty remarkable definition. Dissecting it down to its roots brings the depth of its meaning into full light. Possessing a claimed quality or origin...NOT counterfeit! Authentic! Real! These are beautiful, glorious words found in the English language. They just sound so lovely. So, why must we make them so difficult to apply to our own lives? Mother Teresa once wrote, “Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.” Phew....imagine that, love and a relationship without getting tired, all because we were our genuine selves. That, I think is novel.
Don't you think a genuine self is much sexier then some facade we display or act we put on in order to accommodate or, God forbid, get someone else to like us. Here's the real kicker...do we really want to be with someone that requires us to play our most convincing role? I certainly don't want that. I'm not planning on winning the academy award for the woman that acted her way right into her man's heart. I want him to love me for all that I am; the good, the bad, the ugly, the really ugly. So everyone...love yourself, and most importantly, be your most genuine self. This is the greatest and most profound gift.
So, I would like to conclude today's post with another quote. John Paul II once said, "The future starts today, not tomorrow." Begin your genuine life today, and smile and love as much as possible.