I'm not sure who will read this, but for those that do, my hope is that we will all realize that we are not alone, and that turning 30 really is, no big deal. I hope to broach multiple subjects...love, life, relationships, careers, friends, etc...all to make us stronger and more confident. For my first post, I'd like to present a small piece that I wrote about all of my embittered past relationships. You wonder why I decide to harp on them...well really I'm not. Actually, I consider it a very cathartic experience, one I would encourage everyone to do. Let it go. Realize, that it takes two to tango, and that accepting the blame entirely for the demise of two peoples' mishaps, is well, just silly. So here we go...blog #1. Hopefully we will laugh, cry, and celebrate together :)
Enough already. There comes a time in a woman’s life when all of the bullshit and heartache reaches a crescendo, and she is faced with two paths: crawl under a rock or forge ahead like a victorious empress. I say, hip-hip hooray, here comes the victor!! No longer will I be slave to the deplorable behavior of crude, insensitive insignificant men…no dare I say boys. Thirteen years of dating loser after loser, for what?! Let me be frank, dating is exhausting, and I need a nap. I have enough bad date stories, heart crushing relationship tales, and men behaving badly sagas to fill every shelf of the library of congress and then some.
My journey into enlightenment didn’t begin until my 30th year. A pitiful 20-something, hopelessly in love with the idea that romance and true love exists, and…gasp…will conquer all. Well, ladies there comes a time when we must stand up, stand proud, and declare….”Enough already!” When will the time come when we will embrace the goddesses we are, and come to the understanding that men, as a dear friend of mine so poignantly stated, “men should be the icing to our lives, not the flour.” I venture now to share with you my harrowing tales of relationship folly, accompanied by buckets of mint chocolate ice cream and snot soaked tissues, in the hopes that someone will hear my desperate cries, and declare once and for all…I will not settle for anything less than stellar!!!
A master of relationships
Oh, dear I say, I have inexplicably mastered the art of the relationship…or maybe not…eek, that’s another story. Anyway, I’ve certainly had enough practice at relationships to know that if it’s broken in the beginning, no amount of super glue will keep it together. I’ve also discovered that there are different types of relationships, and as some relationship guru will preach (blah, blah, blah), they are all learning experiences. There’s first love or teenage love, or as I like to call it, adventures in babysitting. Honestly, no man is mature enough at the age of 17 to be in a relationship. I really don’t think most men are mature enough at the age of 35 for that matter. Then of course, there’s the relationship that drags on and on and on, and all you can think is dear God, somebody throw me a life raft before I drawn. There’s the relationship with the seemingly normal looking guy, who eventually turns out to be some freak of nature, you wondering away shaking your head, huh? The guy who declares his love for you, and then decides, eh, maybe we should be just be friends after all. Then there’s the real jerk that builds you up, and then conveniently forgets to return your phone calls after he’s promised you the world. Well, guess what, we get the hint. Then, there’s the sensitive artist who’s trying to find himself, and maybe is just into himself a little too much to bring you along. Of course, there’s the wounded bird that has been mauled and mangled by his cheating ex wife. Too consumed with his own grief and sorrow to get a grip and face reality…she’s gone, buddy, and not coming back. Move on! Finally, the learned man, who for all accounts looks great on paper, but then you start to wonder, why are you 39 and still single? Phew, I think I need a cocktail. So, let me take you on my journey, bit by bit, and in the end, hopefully we will come out wiser and maybe even a little bit sexier and more confident then we were before.