Thursday, November 18, 2010

Day #83, #84, #85, & #86: We really can have it all.

Why does it have to be one or the other? Why must a successful woman choose between the wildly successful career or the wildly successful relationship/marriage/family? Is it wrong to want all of these simultaneously? I keep wondering about this. The old expression that if you pile the plate too high than there's no way everything is going to get the attention it needs and deserves. Economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett argued in 2002, "the more successful the woman, the less likely it is she will find a husband or a bear a child."

Ouch...that's certainly a blow to the self-esteem. We can achieve PhDs, MDs, CRNPs, MSNs, but we can't land the elusive MRS. The 20th century show women gaining greater access to higher education and professional careers, all the while missing out on marriage and children. Despicable if you ask me. Just because I choose to receive an education, does that mean I am inept or unwilling to counterbalance that success with the success of family. It's time for a revolution.

A 2006 article from the Washington Post post reported that highly educated women are now as likely to have children as their less-educated counterparts, and much more likely to have children born in wedlock. Economically successful woman are alsothe fastest-growing segment of the minority of women who have children even if they do not marry. Apparently, "the secret to having it all is knowing you already do."

So I am now a believer. I am converted optimist that believes as a successful woman I can have all that I want. I can have the career, the relationship, the marriage, and the family. It is not out of my reach. Maya Angelou wrote, "Courage allows the successful woman to fail-and learn powerful lessons-from the failure-so that in the end, she didn't fail at all." Perhaps, my detriments in personal undertaking have taught me very powerful lessons. Ones that I know will allow me to finally complete the cycle, and yes, have it all.

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