Sunday, November 14, 2010
Day #79, #80, #81, #82: More than meets the eye
Have you created him in your mind? The perfect man. Your prince charming. Is he 6'2, brown eyes, dark hair, olive skin? Or perhaps, maybe he's blonde, blue-eyed and as lean as a gazelle. Does he speak several languages and emit confidence and poise every time he enters a room? Is he well traveled, well educated, and a bountiful stock portfolio and has ambitions of one day retiring in the Virgin Islands with his 50-foot yacht and 10,000 square foot beach house? Or maybe he's a gentle artist incredibly in touch with his feelings, wooing unsuspecting females with his sensitivity and keen eye for color. What exactly is ideal?
I'm starting to wonder about all of this insanity and the illusion of perfection. It's as if we create a perfect image only to create a perfect set up for disappointment. Disappointment in the sense that we never meet that perfect ideal which, of course, only creates disappointment and bitterness and worst of all, cynicism. How many of us go out into this world in search of our perfect match, checklist and scented magic marker in hand. And if even one of those little boxes is not checked off he's disqualified without a second thought or given a chance to argue his case. No, the jury has spoken, case dismissed. Ah, but is there folly in this whole convoluted process.
It was written that "the best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway." Maybe it's time to let the checklist burn. I'm starting to think that the checklist has been more of a hindrance than a help. Simply put, no man or woman is perfect. Sure, it's nice to have basic fundamentals that you hope to find in a partner....loyalty, kindness, the desire for a family...but does he really need to speak 5 languages, own a cottage in Nice, and drive the newest BMW? I think not.
Perhaps, he just needs to be sweet, dote on you a little bit, make the bed just because he knows you likes it, show up with a single red rose to brighten your day, tell you how beautiful you are and enjoy every moment you are both together. Most importantly, he's certainly worth considering if he makes you smile just because and laugh harder than anyone else on the planet. Agnes Repplier wrote, "We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh." It appears that it really is best to keep an open mind and an open heart. And if you are laughing to hard together that tears are streaming down both of your faces, well, then you may have just found yourself a keeper.